What was it like to be in the belly of a fish? I’ve wondered that ever since I was old enough to comprehend the story of Jonah, and I still wonder. The reality of it is simply gross. There must have been slime and stench. And what did he live on for those days? Did he sleep in the middle of the organ where gushes of stomach juice were churning around him? Or was his back propped against belly muscle? Did he even sleep at all? What about food and water? Going to the bathroom? Despite my many questions (and there’s more) I have no trouble believing this story actually happened; I don’t believe it’s just a parable or tale. There are many major and minor stories in the Bible I have not the slightest ability to explain scientifically, but I’m not the type of person that cares so much. I’m okay not knowing and simply trusting that He did it. Somehow.

We read Bible stories to Ray each night out of a book that has wonderfully disproportionate pictures and one of the stories is about Jonah. Along with long toes and tiny eyes, the people in these books are colored oddly and are sometimes faceless. Sometimes toeless too. As he’s reading, Brian never fails to add adjectives to the narrative where he deems appropriate. “And Jesus laid his hands on the orange children” or “the previously five-fingered but now four-fingered man got off his donkey” or (my personal favorite) “the permed angel from the 1980s came to Mary.” I grew up on these books and never noticed the uniqueness of the pictures until Brian started adding their weirdness to the storyline. They are strange.

Some of the creative artistry in Ray’s books. This is the story of blind Bartimaeus.

So in these books Jonah is swallowed by a prototypical cartoon whale. Not a whale that actually exists in real life, but the kind of whale always used to depict the benevolent monster that swallowed Jonah. This nonexistent creature looks to be a mix between a blue whale, a humpback, and a sperm: giant square head, blue body, striped white belly. It’s just the thing for swallowing men whole, but it doesn’t actually exist. So what swallowed Jonah and what in the world was it like to live that?

Whenever I dwell on the story I put myself in Jonah’s place. I’m fairly certain I would have perished inside the fish the first day, nevermind being stuck in there for three days. But Jonah didn’t. He made other mistakes, and many of them, but he didn’t doubt God’s presence when he was lounging in digestive liquid. I habitually doubt that the circumstances I find myself in are actually strange solutions provided by God, rather than another notch in the “things going wrong” belt. In Ray’s book they end each story with a lesson. For Jonah’s story, the wrap-up lesson is that God knew just what Jonah needed and provided it. Really? He needed to get swallowed by a huge fish?? But in looking at the small glimpse we’re given of Jonah and his personality I think, “If ever there was a guy that needed to be swallowed by a fish, it’s Jonah!” God is consistently giving us what we need, but I often miss it for what I think is a justifiable pity party in the face of “bad” circumstances.

Last night the power went out. This is always frustrating, no matter what time of day or night. When it happens at night, we know as soon as it goes out that if it doesn’t come back on within 30 minutes Ray will wake up screaming. Then she fights going back to sleep once the power does finally return. It’s a long, sleep-depriving process that doesn’t go over well at 3 in the morning. A few months ago I switched the kind of malaria prophylaxis I take. The new pill brings with it lots of vivid, unpleasant dreams. Last night I had a series of about five dreams that were disturbing enough to keep me from getting quality sleep. The power went out three different times; each time allowed me an opportunity to escape the dreams and collect myself. Ray only woke up once, just to cry out briefly; a small baby curse to the electric company’s powers that be and then back to sleep. I’m still tired today, but who knows how many other disturbing dreams I would have endured had my sleep not been interrupted by the still darkness? Normally I would choose to place both of those events, the power outages and the dreams, into the same bad category and simply say it was a bad night. Jonah must have thought that both the storm and the fish were equally unfortunate at some point in his experience. But eventually he chose to see them as God’s provision for his true needs. I hate power outages, but perhaps last night they were just the fish to swallow me.