In college my roommate and I used to get into her boxy black Jeep and drive. Just drive. We didn’t have a destination, we simply picked a road that looked interesting and drove until we felt it was time to turn around… which was usually when we started craving Jersey Mikes. We spent many moments reveling in our wanderlust and deepening our friendship during those drives, and I had forgotten all about them until recently.

I never thought twice about getting in the car with my dearest friend and driving through the North Carolina mountains, even though we never knew where we were going or how long we would be gone. The threat of getting lost, popping a tire, or breaking down never entered my mind because the benefits of the trip so far outweighed the potential consequences.

When Brian and I started our lives together it was rather like getting in that Jeep. He was the person that knew me better than any other. Our life in Dallas was pleasant and only occasionally challenging. Getting in and just driving was the best idea in the world. Together we talked and dreamed and deepened the ties of our marriage. We didn’t have any popped tires and we didn’t lose our way. Since turning down the road that brought us to PNG as a family, we’ve had more troubles and more reasons to think twice about getting in the car. I’ve slowly lost the ability to follow a new road without fear of the consequences. Sickness and financial insecurity have taken their toll.

Last Tuesday God took our Jeep down one of those new roads when the Branch Director resigned for medical reasons and Brian was elected to finish his term. We saw the turn-off miles ago, but the act of choosing that particular road has been terrifying. We have intentionally watched and listened to others who have gone before us, and the overwhelming conclusion is that it doesn’t end well. There are hazards to our personal relationships, our health, the strength of our marriage, our relationship with our children, on and on. My personality encourages me to only look at those; to only see the ways the devil can tear us down.

When my roommate and I took those drives together we often found new and surprising places. A country store with glass bottle cokes, a bubbling creek to follow, or a gorgeous pasture full of cows to moo at. If we had been hindered by fear of the road we would have missed out on so much. And not just the cows, but the manner in which those times together shaped who we were as friends. Though this road with Brian as director looks dark and ominous, I’m excited to see what new and surprising places we’ll find as a family. Because I know they exist and I have a feeling they’ll be breathtaking.

These three.

As Brian’s wife, I see the talents he’s been given better than I see my own. God has gifted him with the right combination of skills and natural abilities to do this role well. I know this, other branch members have affirmed this, and he is slowly seeing it himself. God has our family at a place where not taking this on would be a blatant act of disobedience fueled by fear. So we have chosen to forge ahead, mindful of the potholes and trusting in the goodness of God. At least once a day, if not more, I feel the grip of fear catch my heart. Fear of the hazards the devil will undoubtedly throw our way as Brian steps into this role of great responsibility. But by the grace of God I’m overcoming those moments bit by bit to keep myself from fleeing home to Jersey Mikes.

Please be praying for Brian, our family, and the branch as we make this transition. We’re excited to serve in this new way, but feeling a bit exposed spiritually. Pray for protection over our children, that God wouldn’t allow the devil to attack them. Pray for protection over our marriage, that God wouldn’t allow the devil a foothold. Pray for protection over Brian, that God would daily remind him that He is the strong tower. Pray for protection over the branch, that God would help us to love one another. Pray for the previous director and his wife, that God would fill them with peace about their decision and grant them physical healing.