I’ve never had a strong stomach, so when I got sick just before we headed to Australia, I wasn’t worried. Stomach aches and bad nights have always been a part of me. What I didn’t know then was how this stomach ache would crash the better part of our vacation, stealing my joy and rest. We ended up at the 24 hour medical center twice and the ER once. I cried and got mad and got really mad. I’ve been looking forward to being in Cairns for months. It’s one of my favorite places in the world, what with the pools and parks and zoos. We were going to get to do only fun things with only fun people eating only fun food (that I hadn’t cooked) for 9 days. And then I couldn’t eat, couldn’t do fun things, and became horrible company. Why, God?? Don’t you care to give our family rest?!? And fun???

Now that we’re on this side of the trip I don’t remember what the nausea felt like. I don’t remember feeling exhausted or trying every position possible to get away from my stomach (none exists, for the record). I do remember feeling close to Brian while he took care of me, feeling close to my parents while they lavished the girls with care, and experiencing Australia when the sickness ebbed away. We enjoyed each other while watching the girls play at an indoor playground, we had a whole lush train car to ourselves when we rode up to Kuranda, we watched Ray and Willa delight in petting a baby koala, we saw friends, we splashed at the water playground, and had evening swims in the lagoon. And we ate good food… that I hadn’t cooked. It all happened, it just all happened in the last few days. My memories won’t be tainted by the sickness, but my attitude certainly was while we were there. I didn’t trust that God cared and was watching out for us. I did choose to succumb to self-pity and frustration. Instead of appreciating the sick free days, I was constantly bemoaning the days lost.

A national translator that has worked with PBT for decades has been watching his wife fight mouth cancer for quite some time now. She has fought and she is losing. At first it seemed like such an easy fix. But then it wasn’t, and she steadily got worse. God has brought them through many emotions, but they and their children have ended at peace. Twice now they have sent prayer requests asking for God to take her quickly and end the pain. They‘re sad, but calm in the knowledge of her secure fate.

How do you become like them? How do you find calm assurance in the face of separation by death? I despaired over a few missed vacation days; some missed food and fun and fellowship. How would I react if the Lord’s plan for our lives involved sickness and the grave? Of course, I would be just like them! God is totally in control of every part of our lives and I would trust that his will and way are the absolute best. I wouldn’t want anything else. Right? Surely. Or maybe… not.

It’s dangerous to do this, but I couldn’t help but compare my reaction to the lows last week in the ER to this family’s reaction to the lows as they wait in their village for God to either heal or take their wife and mother. The situations are so vastly different, the severity incomparable. But in both experiences God’s will is a mystery. I reacted to the mystery of the sickly vacation by assuming God is cruel. And unfair. They’re reacting to the mystery of a prolonged, life-threatening illness by trusting that God is good and merciful.

We are praying for this family, that God would end their pain whether by bringing their wife and mother to her heavenly home, or by miraculously healing her body. Whatever the outcome, God’s glory and light is being reflected in their lives as they interact with this situation, and has illuminated dark corners of my heart. In the future when I’m inevitably faced with adversity that I don’t understand or see purpose in I’ll think of this family and how they are living out a life of faith, and I’ll try to do the same.

Despite the fact I was SURE our vacation was ruined forevermore, fun was had by all. Here are just a few captured moments from the girls’ time in our favorite city!!